When I found out about my husband’s girlfriend, I was so filled with anger and hatred that I knew I had to do something. And deep down I knew what that something was. I knew that God was calling me to cover him in prayer. I had been praying for him generally when I prayed for all my other friends and family members but now I needed to be more intentional with my prayers. How was I going to do this when I hated him so much?
I turned to the Internet. Surely someone had a guide on how to pray for your ex husband. There are 30 Day Guides to Praying for just about everything else so why not this. I came up with nothing. I found this beautifully written prayer on MissGuided Mom but it wasn’t really what I was looking for. I continued to search. In my searching I came across two quotes that really hit me in the gut and made me realize that I had to do this or my children would suffer.
I love my children much more than I could ever dislike their father.By Jacalyn Wetzel
Things did not end on fabulous terms, but my children are fabulous and they deserve two parents that get along.By Jacalyn Wetzel
I’ll be perfectly honest with you. This is not something that I want to do. I want to save my prayers for those I love and cherish not ones who have hurt me and abandoned me. But God has something different in mind. He tells us in Matthew 5:44 to love our enemies and to pray for them. This is what I have to do if I want to be obedient to His Word. And I want to be obedient to His Word even if I don’t like what He is telling me to do.
Since I couldn’t find a prayer guide for praying for your ex husband, I decided to create one for all of us desiring to cover our ex husbands in prayer.
- Pray for his salvation. In my situation, my husband is no longer a believer and regularly criticizes my faith. I pray for him to return to faith in God.
- Pray for his career. My husband has a fabulous job in a career that he loves. I pray that God continues to bless his work and that he continues to enjoy his job.
- Pray for his friends. My husband’s friends are a big part of his life. I pray that they are a good influence on him and that they do not lead him astray.
- Pray for him as a father. My kids are the most important thing in my world and they love their father. I pray that they have a good relationship with him.
- Pray for your role together as co-parents. Right now there are a lot of things my husband and I disagree on when it comes to our kids. I pray that God helps us come together in agreement for the good of our kids.
- Pray for his new relationship. This may or may not apply to you right now. For me it is a harsh reality. I pray that his new relationship is strong and healthy.
- Pray for his weaknesses. We all have weaknesses and God can work through those weaknesses to show His strength in us. I pray that God would use his weaknesses to help him grow.
- Pray for his strengths. Just like we all have weaknesses, we all have strengths that we can use to benefit others. I pray that he will use his strengths for good.
- Pray that you would forgive him. I am really struggling with this because I feel so hurt and abandoned but I know that I must forgive him because that it was God commands me to do. So I pray that God will help me to forgive him.
- Pray that he would forgive you. I am not perfect and I do things that I need forgiveness for sometimes. I pray that he would forgive me when I need it.
- Pray for any disagreements you may be having. Right now my husband and I are not agreeing on much of anything. I pray that God would help us handle these disagreements with maturity and avoid petty bickering.
- Pray for his physical health. For the most part, my husband is physically healthy. I pray that he remains healthy and that he stops any bad habits that threaten his health.
- Pray for his emotional health. One thing that I have learned as a result of having bipolar disorder is that emotional health is just as important as physical health. I pray that my husband would be emotionally healthy and find ways to healthfully deal with his emotions.
- Pray for the temptations he is facing. Since my husband is no longer a believer, he doesn’t see some of his actions as sin. I pray that he would start to see his sin as sin and submit in obedience to Jesus Christ.
- Pray for his finances. One of the first things my husband did when he left was buy himself an very expensive car. It’s one of the things we had disagreed on before he left. I pray that he makes wise financial decisions.
- Pray for his passions. My husband enjoys movies, good food, and video games. I do not. I enjoy books, music, and studying the criminal mind. I pray that even though I don’t share his passions that my husband would pursue his passions and that they would be God honoring.
- Pray for his safety. No matter how angry I am, I do not wish ill on my husband. I pray that God keeps him safe from harm.
- Pray for his family. My husband has a wonderful family. I have always had a great relationship with my in-laws. I pray that my husband would have a good relationship with his family and that God would bless them.
- Pray for his integrity. I believe that my husband is a man of integrity. He is a good man. I pray that he will remain honest in all his business dealings and not do anything that he needs to keep hidden.
- Pray for his work/life balance. There is a time for everything. I pray that my husband has a proper balance between work and play.
- Pray for his priorities. Priorities are important because they show us where are hearts are. I pray that my husband’s priorities will be in the proper order and that he will be a responsible man.
- Pray for his choices. Right now I do not agree with the choices that my husband is making. I pray that God will help him to make the right choices.
- Pray for his past. We all have things in our past that affect our lives today whether they be good or bad. I pray that my husband will not live in the past or let it dictate him in any way.
- Pray for his future. As the father of my children, my husband’s future will affect our children. I want it to be a good one. I pray that he will have a clear vision of his future and that it will be a good one.
- Pray for his leadership. My husband is in a position of leadership within his company. I pray that he will be a good leader and a good influence on those in his life.
- Pray for his speech. One of the things that I dislike about my husband is his foul language and it has rubbed off on my children. I pray that he will use words that lift others up and that he will not use any foul language.
- Pray for his relaxation. We all experience stress and need ways to relax. I pray that my husband would find healthy ways to relieve the stress in his life.
- Pray for his self-esteem. I believe that one of the reasons my husband jumped so quickly into another relationship is a lack of self-esteem. I pray that he would have a strong, healthy, and proper self-esteem.
- Pray for his generosity. There are so many people in need in this world and my husband is a blessed man but he is a stingy man. I pray that he would be generous with his time, his talents, and his money.
- Pray for you as his ex wife. I’ll be honest. I need all the prayer I can get. Especially in this situation. I pray that I would be a godly example of a patient and caring, forgiving, and loving woman of God.
One thing I have learned through this process of praying for my soon to be ex husband is that praying for him may not change him but it certainly changes me. I have found that when I pray for him regularly, any negative thoughts I have toward him start to disappear. It’s hard to hold grudges or be angry at someone when you are praying for them regularly!
If you would like a printable copy of this prayer guide, you can find it here.
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